Back to being human

Every time I tried to simply be myself, something inside would rise up and try to steal me away.
For a long time, I couldn’t understand what it was—but eventually, I knew.
It was the fears, the pain, the anger, and sorrow I had carried for so long without release, without ever allowing myself to truly feel them. They found a way to build a home within me.
Quietly, without asking, they became part of me. Each time I wanted to grow and to experience more, they pulled me down. They were heavier than me, and because of that weight, I let them win.

But now… years have passed, I have grown, I have changed. My body became bigger, heavier, because they were growing inside me—crying out for my attention. Their growth was a cry for help, it was time to finally face them.

So I danced.
I laid down on Mother Earth’s wet grass and let her hold me. I let her wash away my pain with the rain, and the water of the ocean. I embraced that red tree to let her transform my fears into tiny apples, as I ate them, I felt nourished in a way I had never known. I danced with myself, and my demons came out to dance with me too. I discovered—they were not evil as I had been told. They were lonely. They were sad. They were misunderstood.
So I bowed, thanking them for showing me what I also am: Shadow. They bowed back, and they flew away.

I became lighter. I became softer. I felt my humanity radiate from my toes to my head. I felt a direct connection with my Father, my Creator. He told me that I was human for a reason—that I was meant to feel these emotions again and again, sometimes alone, sometimes surrounded by my brothers and sisters: other humans.
He told me never to fear being alone, because I am sustained by love and grace. That my soul and spirit already know their home, and one day they will return joyfully to it. But my body… my body is human. It belongs to the warmth of its mother: Earth. It belongs among other humans, with the animals, with life itself. It belongs in the experience of recognizing the magnificence of being here, alive. This body is a gift, not to be wasted.

And so I asked Him about the purpose—the purpose everyone is so eager to find, but still remains a mystery.
He said to me:
“There is no purpose beyond being human. No greater mission than to fully experience the gift you’ve been given: the body, the earth, your brothers and sisters. Through these, your soul will be filled, and your spirit will find its way back to Me. I breathe through him, and he breathes through you. The only purpose is to be human, until the day you die.”

Now I know.
Every breath, every heartbeat, every day is a gift.
I am here.
I am alive.
I am enough.
I am human.